Sometimes Dinosaurs Say it Best.

http://www.qwantz.com/index.php?comic=1714
N.M.R.N.R.

Bringing up Ben

Ben was depressed one week, so a friend and I made him drinks to make him feel better. He had one Rum & Cola and went to bed. We, however, had a fun time.
I was going to attempt making a delicious, fruity drink called an apple blossom.
However, Lizzie bought me Apple Pie instead of Apple Schnapps, but I figured, "Same thing, Right?" Jim cautioned me it wasn't, but if you want to find out for yourself, anyway, like I did, here's a tasty drink that will get you much, much more drunk than most other mixed drinks, and much, much quicker.
The Classy Version:
In a glass, pour as much vodka as you can handle tasting in one drink (usually a little less than a shot in a small glass), and a shot (or more) of Apple Pie. (I usually opted for more.)
Fill the rest of the glass with Cranberry Juice.
Drink up!

The Trashy Version: (or "the You're-Gonna-Be-Trashed" version)
Drink/empty out about a sixth of a bottle of cranberry juice. Fill back up with equal parts Vodka and Apple Pie.
Try to enjoy- but mostly have some hangover cures on hand.

*Note: If you hate, hate, hate cranberry juice... I don't understand you.
But go for Cran-Grape, NOT Cran-Apply or Cran-Raspberry, as these get too sweet and don't taste all that good with Vodka OR Apple Pie.